Well, okay. I guess you learn something new every day. Today, I learned that there are zombies because I read it the newspaper. The second thing I learned is that the Zombie attacker in Miami we all know about was not high on bath salts when he ate the face of some unfortunate soul. Medical authorities say so and I believe them. You know that saying, “You look good enough to eat”
Why all this attention on Zombies and Bath Salts? Follow the money. The bath salt industry is PISSED. They don’t want and don’t need any bad publicity. And they don’t want to associate their product with NO DAMN ZOMBIES.
I pulled out a couple of key points for you.
- The bath salt industry doesn’t want the reputation of their product being a drug.
- They also want you to know not to eat their product, simply bath in it.
- They also want you to know that eating their product may not inspire an eater of bath salts to eat the face off another human.
- Zombies are usually not very fun to be around.
- Zombies are like ants at a picnic, sure to show up and hard to get rid of once they do.
- At least one manufacturer of legitimate bath salts, is pleased to learn that the sensationalized controversy over bath salts and whether they will turn you into a crazed zombie has finally been debunked. Woo Hoo!
- The term “Crazed Zombie” proves that there is a logical, scientifically valid, and generally accepted continuum of Zombie- ness.
- The “street drug” version of bath salts or so called bath salts is also know to users as “ glass cleaner” or “plant food.”
- The companies that make Windex and Miracle Grow are PISSED.
- Saying “Oh yeah babe! You look good enough to eat” can be construed as a variation of the old saying “You look good enough to eat.”
- My uncle, who first uttered the phrase, “Oh yeah babe! You look good enough to eat”, considers the phrase his intellectual property is prepared to defend his ownership of these moving words with the full force and might of the IP laws. He even has a law firm lined up.
- Bath Salt Zombies Debunked (investmentwatchblog.com)
- Update! Pot, not bath salts created the “Miami Zombie” (saintleoinkblot.com)
- S.F. Relaxation Guru Explains the Difference Between Bath Salts and Face-Eating Bath Salts (blogs.sfweekly.com)
- Bath Salts – Not Something to Joke About (medhealthwriter.blogspot.com)
- Karl Laventure, “Zombie Cannibal” High on Bath Salts, Threatens to Eat Cops (thehollywoodgossip.com)
- Bath Salts Panic Rages on After ‘Zombie’ Attack (inquisitr.com)
- Bath Salts: Were They Behind “Miami Zombie” Attack? (thehollywoodgossip.com)
- RCPD Issues Warning After Apparent Bath Salt Incident (wibw.com)
- Miami Moves to Ban Bath Salts (newsfeed.time.com)
- Bath Salts Will Get You High, Just Not the Ones at Your House (bellasugar.com)