Tag Archives: Employment

About your resume

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Most resumes can improve in three ways.  The first two are formatting and what I call TGS or typos, grammar, and spelling. There is no excuse for these types of errors. The third one is a little more difficult to hold in your hand.

It is a cocktail of intangible factors.  Executive impact, accomplishment, leadership, communication, performance, credibility, and a sense of trust. I said cocktail, didn’t I? I believe these factors must come through in the right balance to complete an executive presentation.  When I say executive I am referring to decision making and leadership more than anything else.

Next question. How to improve? Everyone asks me the same question. What is the first step? Where to begin? What can I expect in terms of time commitment and actual time needed to complete the project?

I will answer the last of the three questions first. You can expect me to work your resume until two things happen. First, that I am satisfied that I have the made the best possible presentation, and number two, that YOU are satisfied. I gain nothing until you gain something. In this case a resume you can show a grocery store clerk or a Prime Minister.

How long does it take? Good question. When do you need it? Need it in two weeks? Not a problem. Need it in 48 hours? I honestly can do it but need to look at my other commitments. I have no problem working late into the night if that is what I need to do.  Depends on you! Lead time is great, crunch time is where I exceed my client’s expectations.

How do I get my share of intangibles on the resume? Having read thousands of resumes I have developed a feel for what works. I also study the work of other resume writers. I favor the classic, accomplishments based resume. Most of what I see before I start work focuses on the person’s job responsibilities, lots of lists, two or three sentences on an objective, carved up by horizontal lines, and maybe a cover letter that spills too many beans.

As a resume writer, I look for the most practical solution. Simpler is better. Impact is better. I want to write a resume for you that tells the reader you have the skills to get the job done.

Send me your resume for a free evaluation. If I can make improvements, I will explain how. If I can’t make improvements, I will tell you so.

 CLICK HERE >>>      Here is what to do next

Friends don’t let friends go to interviews with bad resumes.

Do recruiters read cover letters?

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Do recruiters read cover letters?

Many job seekers send resumes and cover letters by the bundle when they are in the job seeking mode. One source of frustration for a job seeker is the lack of follow up by a company after they have taken to the time to send a resume and many candidates also spend their time writing the perfect cover letter. They talk about their commitment, experience, how they fit the position and all sorts of details to catch the eye of the reader. Yet with all of this effort, it is rare that one hears anything at all from the company. The following are comments from current recruiters who are out there every day and looking at hundreds of resumes for their open positions. Here are their comments on whether they read cover letters.

I never read them, CV for experience, interview to uncover personality etc. Let’s not blur the lines!

Oh yes, I do!!! Every letter tells me more about the person than the rest of the papers. Or better said the cover letter rounds up the picture I get from the other papers.

I always read them as they can say a lot about the candidate and how much effort they have put into their application. I really dislike it when a letter is not personally addressed to me, as I always clearly state who they should be sending their details to… I see it as laziness on the candidate’s part.

I always read the cover letter unless I can tell it’s just a template that the candidate sends to everyone. We specifically ask and encourage candidates to take this opportunity to tell us a little more about themselves in a non-resume format.

Having read tens of thousands of resumes, I’ve had the privilege of reading some really brilliant and/or witty cover letters that usually at least get that candidate in the door.

I read the cover letter. The cover letter should illustrate beyond the resume how the candidate meets the qualifications for the position.

I am in agreement with many others on cut and pasted cover letters. Why bother? In fact often receive cut and paste jobs where they forget to update company or position name. In this case the applicant would have been better off without a cover letter.

I do scan through them but find often that covering letters, especially with applications from online job boards, are just too vague and irrelevant. On the flip side they can be a good insight into the skills and abilities of a person and how keen they are on the role, I have worked with many consultants who skip reading them totally and miss key information.

I always do, a good motivation letter tells a lot about your candidate. It’s great to see them put in some efforts in their procedure (people applying for 20 jobs at the same time and don’t even remember your company won’t invest that much), it also gives you a good first impression on some skills. Conclusion: cover letters are great!

I absolutely read cover letters! It gives me another opportunity to learn about the candidate and see if I can gage a best fit position. I look less highly on those who do not submit one.

A cover letter to the resume is always to the first impression on the resume as it specifies the significance and the interest of the applicant. However mis-representation of the recipient is a big no!! I think most professionals read them.

I try to read as many cover letters as possible. I like to see the candidates writing style, and their attention to detail. It really is a good way of weeding out candidates that are not a proper fit for the position.

Unfortunately with the volume of apps reading through each cover letter is not possible. However before short listing candidates, and where writing is considered an essential part of the position I will at that time go through their letter.

I am a huge believe in proven experience, if I can’t see that experience on a resume then a cover letter no matter how crisp and clean is will not sway me.

Well there you have it! Savvy job seekers always include a cover letter.  If you are struggling with writing a resume or are not sure what to include in a cover letter.Take a moment and get the help you need.

Oh, one more thing, did you send a thank you note to your interviewers afterwards? If you didn’t… there is still time.

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Questions to ask your interviewer

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Job seekers who do not respond when their interviewer asks if they have any questions are missing a huge opportunity to connect with the prospective employer.

Candidates are used to being asked questions and a savvy job seeker will be  ready for anything. Behavioral interviews are taking hold with companies of all sizes, shapes and, industries.  Candidates must prepare ahead of time to make their best impression on the interviewer. Usually there is an opportunity to turn the tables so to speak and ask something of the employer during the interview. Many candidates do not seize the opportunity to ask a good question to their interviewer. Opportunity lost.

Why is it a smart move to have something ready? It gives you an opportunity to communicate on a different level. When the candidate does not ask a question, the interview is very one sided. But what if you had something prepared that connected you to the interviewer. Why not ask, “What do you like about the company?” or “What attracted you to the company?” or “What are you most proud of since you have been working here?” Boom! For the minute or so you are listening to your interviewer answer you, you are in the driver’s seat. You have just broken the ice in a new relationship. Not only do you gain a valuable and unique insight into the company and its culture, the interviewer now has a lasting impression of you. All because you were ready! What is the old saying? “Strike when the iron is hot.”

Next interview have a good question or two tucked away and ready. When you get your chance, take it. Don’t hesitate. Some questions just don’t work. Don’t ask about earnings per share or return on invested capital or EBITA trends over the last six quarters. These questions will surprise the interviewer rather than impress them and motivate them to talk. And besides, unless you are the next CFO, knowing the ins and outs of EBITA probably won’t be a huge part of your work day. Get in there with something about company culture, how is the customer experience measured, or something familiar but not too personal. Keep it professional.

Savvy job seekers are better prepared than ever. It is hard to predict what a company will do with you as a candidate. Further, you may never really know why they are even interviewing. There could be thousands of workable answers to that question.

Next time, be ready. A well thought out question will reflect in a positive way for the candidate. One more thing, you are probably carrying an iPhone or Android right? Don’t forget to turn it OFF before going into the interview!

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100 Best Blogs for Career-Minded Students

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College is a place for students to broaden their intellectual and social horizons. A college education also boosts an individual’s earnings over the course of their life time. With a little bit of planning and training, students can use their time in college to jump start their career prospects. Check out these blogs for career minded students offering tips, advice and information.

Blogs about Internships

Internships provide invaluable training students use for the rest of their careers. Great internships at prestigious firms can lead to top entry level positions. Read these blogs for insight into the wide world of interns.

  1. Chronicles of a Corporate Intern: A young twenty-something is thrown into an internship at a large tech firm, follow the trials and tribulations of a young woman just getting her career of the ground.
  2. Working for the Mouse: This blogger worked as an intern for the Walt Disney Company and gives an inside look of what it’s like to work for one of the world’s largest media companies.
  3. President’s Intern: A blog from a young intern that worked for President George W. Bush. Learn about the inner workings of the White House and the role interns play in day to day life.
  4. My Life as a Ticket King Intern: This blogger took a job as an intern at a ticket brokerage company to get access to free tickets. Follow the fun, excitement and humor at this charming site.
  5. Coutori: A student living in suburbia, this blog is dedicated to fashion and creating your own career.
  6. Success 4 Students: The college students’ complete guide to life. Survive freshman year, land internships and jobs, and get a life on campus with this blog giving tips from real students.
  7. Internship Hub: This blog provides the latest information and leads for internships across various industries for aspiring college students.
  8. Free Your Mind Blog: A blog on anything related to investment banking and consulting especially trying to land internships and graduate jobs.
  9. Online Engineering Degrees: This blog tries to give informative and credible facts related to engineering and internships.
  10. The Fashioneo: The daily musings of a budding fashionista, this blogger is a seasoned intern sharing advice and opinions on art, fashion, and personal style.
  11. My Life as a Wannabe Journalist: A journalism student writes this blog about her efforts and frustrations becoming a professional reporter.
  12. InstantInternship: Real time internship news and information, this site is a must stop for students looking for their start.
  13. StudyHallNotes: A meeting place for students and educators to communicate with colleagues and peers about schools, teachers, professors or classes. Also, the site provides financial aid information, teen jobs, internships, scholarship information, and much more.
  14. Internships Blog: All types of internships are discussed this blog which has information on summer and paid positions. Find the internship you need in any field or city with this great resource.

Blogs from Recent College Graduates

Life after college can be difficult for some people. Others thrive as they enter the real world for the first time. These blogs from recent college graduates give students an idea of what’s next.

  1. The College Puzzle: This blog discusses college completion, success and risk factors, posts on this site explore the things that influence the success rates of students.
  2. College Grad Lessons: A blog about life after college and the lessons learned, this blogger is still trying to figure out her place in the world.
  3. Dr. Wizard’s Advice to Student: The blog created by this 28-year old professor gives students invaluable tips and tools on surviving college.
  4. College Career Life: College and career planning advice for students, recent graduates or anyone interesting in changing careers, this blog provides sound, practical advice.
  5. The Recent Graduate Chronicles: Following the life and times of a recent college graduate trying to their place in the world, this blog is topical, relevant and interesting.
  6. College Grad Job Hunter: Job searching advice and information, this blog includes video posts in addition to well-written text articles.
  7. The College Graduate: Articles about this blogger’s personal experiences with life after graduation. She writes on everyday struggles of life in the “real world” including money and work.
  8. Mom and Dad Are Studying: Advice for non-traditional students from a couple that went back to school after starting a family, this blog has hilarious posts and awesome advice.
  9. Secrets of College: A group of college graduates have teamed together to write a “bible” for life at school. This hilarious blog includes items on money, parents and love.
  10. Blazing With Phelps: This former University of Maryland student writes about adjusting to life after college including jobs, apartments and being an adult for the first time.
  11. Physical Therapy Assistant Schools: This interesting site details the experiences of a recent grad as well as points out interesting health and physical therapy resources for healthy adults.
  12. Frugal Law Student: For any students trying to limit their loan debt, this blog is geared toward students considering law school.
  13. Red Sprouts: Tools and advice for character growth, this blog provides articles for getting an internship or advancing your career.
  14. iGeneration: This blog covers topics and issues relevant to teens and college students.

Bloggers in Various Careers

Many students attend college to discover careers that interest them. The bloggers below write about their jobs with passion and dedication, allowing students a window into different lives.

  1. Maryland Trial Lawyer: A second generation trial lawyer and a solo practitioner, this lawyer concentrates in family and criminal law in addition to appeals. His blog ranges from commentary and summaries of new cases in Maryland to law related videos.
  2. Secret Doctor’s Diary: A hospital doctor working in England opens up his thoughts on the state of his nation’s health care system.
  3. Doctor Anonymous: This doctor claims to be “just a guy” working in the American health care system and occasionally trying to find the lighter side of life through his blog.
  4. The Thinking Policeman: The ramblings of a police officer about crime and punishment, law and disorder, paperwork and bureaucracy this site is keenly interesting.
  5. Small Town Lawyer: The observations, advice, and ramblings of a solo practitioner in a small Midwest town. This blog has advice for pro se litigants, criminal defendants and fans of lawyer jokes.
  6. Into the Fire: An in depth journal of a New Jersey firefighter, this blog starts at the fire academy and continues throughout the author’s career.
  7. Bouhammer’s Afghanistan and Military Blog: A blog created by a 21-year Army veteran, currently serving as a First Sergeant in the New York National Guard, this blog started out as a way to discuss military related issues but quickly became a way this soldier documented the war experience for his family.
  8. Tokyo English Teacher: Ever think of teaching English in Japan? This blog details one American’s journey to the Far East to teach English. Get the experience of culture shock and homesickness with this sharply written blog.
  9. The Dork Reporter: Written by a newspaper reporter who covers health care, science and technology, this blog is one reporter’s take on incredibly geeky topics.
  10. PHD in Nursing Online: Get an idea of life as a teaching nurse is like with this blog, which also covers interesting resources that nurses use in their career.
  11. Ramblings of a Student Teacher: This blog highlights the interests and life as a new teacher that also likes to follow current events.
  12. The Vociferous Accountant: Business and financial matters usually scare most people, this blog is specifically meant to discuss such issues in a jovial and fun manner.
  13. Transportation Engineer: This blog discusses transportation engineering which include topics such as environmentally sustainable transport, transportation systems, traffic management, transport economics, transport modes, vehicles, as well as people and goods.
  14. Chemical Engineer: This blog is comes from a Russian-based writer who writes about his life and work as a chemical engineer.
  15. School Psychologist Blog Files: Operated by a licensed school psychologist, this blog contains information for parents to help promote better understanding of special education procedures and parental rights.
  16. Audrey Walker: A blog about the frustrations of one actor struggling to make his dream come true.
  17. Merchant Marine Blog: This blog focuses on merchant marines and life at sea. Learn about the lives of sailors at this salty site.
  18. Chai’s Marine Life Blog: Some people are drawn to water and Chai is definitely one of them. Read this blog from a marine biologist demonstrating passion for his work.
  19. A Day in the Life of a Private Chef: This private chef writes about her clients, the places she travels and all things food, of course. Check out her tasty blog featuring recipes and interesting anecdotes.
  20. Ideal Programmer: A blog discussing the finer points of being a computer programmer, this site is an invaluable resource for anyone considering entering the field.

Career Advice Blogs

The Internet is full of advice for any topic. These blogs have the best advice for students with long term career aspirations.

  1. Career Alley: This blog offers career and job search advice along with job search site reviews.
  2. Your Career Advice Blog: A blog providing career advice to ambitious men and women who want to accelerate their career path.
  3. Highere: Find free career advice to know how to get a job, keep a job and succeed in the workplace with this blog teaching valuable tips for job search, job interviews and creating an effective resume.
  4. Bunny Apple: A career advice blog with interview tips and everything you need to get a better job.
  5. Career Bright: Strive to make your career brighter with this career advice and informational blog on life-work balance, career planning and tips for working women.
  6. Monster Career Blog: A blog from the massive online job database, this site offers career advice and thought-provoking posts addressing the issues facing the workforce today.
  7. orglearn: Career advice article on management, teamwork, success, sales, planning and how to write a resume. This helpful blog includes a free blank resume form linking to examples and samples.
  8. Smart Career Moves: Career advice, helpful information, and recommended reading for individuals that seek to better manage their career path.
  9. Career CoPilot: Career Advice for job seekers and industry insights for career professionals from this regularly updated blog.
  10. Career Change Advice: A blog for anyone changing careers, this site shares job advice and tips while keeping readers informed of career expos across the country.
  11. Escape from Corporate America: Career expert Pamela Skillings provides this blog with advice and tips for changing careers and breaking free from the chains of corporate oppression.
  12. The Creative Career: Finding a fulfilling job is a dream for any number of people. This blog teaches readers how to make fantasy a reality.
  13. Career Lessons from Television: This hilariously awesome blog has clever blogs drawing career lessons from television shows such as “Burn Notice” and “Royal Pains.” Funny and unusually insightful, Career Lessons from Television is bound to become a favorite.
  14. 50 Career Success Tactics: A blog giving visitors 50 career development tactics to put into action immediately, this site will quickly work wonders for your career.
  15. Market Yourself Smarter: Reflecting the perception of corporate Canada from the worker’s perspective, this blog gives great insight into work in the land to the north.

Financial Aid and Debt

The cost of education is rapidly rising year after year. Making smart financial decisions in school can save students thousands in the future. Here are the best blogs helping students get their finances in order.

  1. Poorer Than You: A blog concerning money issues for college students, articles on this site are interesting and never boring.
  2. Studenomics: A blog helping students plan and manage their finances, this site is perfect for balancing the checkbook with the rest of your life.
  3. The Frugal College Graduate: A recent college graduate and full-time professional discusses the difficulties of managing finances and getting started in the “real world.”
  4. College Students Guide: This blog helps students find the college that’s right for them, then offers resources for finding financial aid, scholarships and loans.
  5. Student Consolidation Loans: Helping college graduates consolidate their student loans, this blog includes information on a fixed-rate refinancing plan for repayment.
  6. The College Driver: Owning a car in college can drive up costs, but this blog offers advice for saving on gas, insurance and maintenance.
  7. Surviving College Life: This blog seeks to equip students with the knowledge necessary to survive and succeed in school.
  8. iScholarship: Find available loan information or advice for obtaining financial aid at this blog helping students reduce debt.
  9. Poor College Student: A blog providing advice, tools and tips on obtaining free stuff, the articles on this site allow anyone to live for cheap.
  10. Cheap College Books: Books are one of the most significant portions of college expense, the tips and advice on this blog can save students up to $500 a semester.
  11. College Pros Blog: A site dedicated to showcasing promising college students this blog is the premier source for students with entrepreneurial spirits.

Blogs from Career-Minded Students

Ambitious students give fantastic advice and information for succeeding in school. These blogs follow the students’ attempts to improve their career prospects.

  1. Green Student U: This blog is geared toward students interested in the environmental movement. Find out how to volunteer and prepare yourself for a career in conservation with this helpful blog.
  2. College Fashion: For students interested in getting into the fashion industry, this blog is a guide for ambitious fashionistas to find their first job.
  3. College Candy: From cocktail recipes to career advice, this blog provides unique articles on a lot of interesting topics.
  4. College Being: This blog guides students through controversial issues such as gambling, sex and drinking.
  5. Photobooth Truths: A blog from a student obsessed with photography, this site explores hilarious topics relevant to college students.
  6. Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman: A blogger seeking to find the woman she wants to be, this site is great for women lost in school.
  7. Extraordinary Observations: This beautiful blog is active with posts about the changing urban landscape and student’s impact.
  8. no use for a headline: This blogger is struggling to get thorough grad school. Follow her efforts, frustrations and joy with weekly updates.
  9. OMG… College!: This hilarious site is from a college sophomore seeking to be a professional writer.
  10. Good Girl Gone Blog: Boston is one of the nation’s best college towns with over sixty schools. Check out this blog from a co-ed going to school in Boston.
  11. Crackin’ Wise: Updated multiple times a day, these bloggers document funny happenings in their everyday lives.
  12. Relatively Journalizing: Chronicling misadventures in public relations and journalism as well as providing insight into life happenings, this site also features guest bloggers and columnists.
  13. Words from Andy: A cleverly written blog from a student at a prestigious tech school, this site provides social commentary on all aspects of life.
  14. Everything Random: This blog provides the college crowd with career and internship information, in addition to other interesting tidbits from across the web.
  15. weezBlog: A student’s journal detailing her experiences in college and with her career.
  16. Someone Please Save This Kid: This blogger works at Starbucks, but keeps attending school to boost her career prospects. Her blog is a series of rants, musings, intriguing thoughts, and details of a hectic college life.
  17. forever-digital: Tales from a talented Cornell student as she prepares to graduate and enter the real world.
  18. The Behavior of Beckless: This blogger is a Georgia college student who writes about social life, school and driving between his parents home and the dorms.
  19. HiLife2B: A blog about the everyday lessons learned from a college student as she tries to build her life.
  20. The College Warrior: Enrich your college life by following the insightful guides written by an ambitious, student. This blog has great articles on increasing productivity, studying abroad, job market preparation, planning fun break adventures and a lot more.
  21. Andy’s Blog: This bloggers shares his music and thoughts with the world through his well produced site.
  22. Secretista: From a Hofstra University student, this blog covers fashion, college and everyday life.
  23. Zen College Life: A blog guiding its readers to simplify their academics to enjoy a more satisfying college experience.
  24. Mattson Tomlin: This blog hosts the work of a film student in New York and his efforts at becoming a director.
  25. devmorgan: A student at the Rochester Institute of Technology, this blogger is a computer science major with aspirations of being a programmer.
  26. Timothy Dwight: A blog from a residential advisor at Yale University, this writer has a humorous style and colorful blog.
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Think before answering that interview question

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A marketing  professional shared this little story with me. In his previous job search, during an interview, he was asked a question that he answered honestly. He feels strongly that he should not have answered it and  believes it was a factor in not getting an offer.

Here’s what happened.  He was interviewing  for a position for a Channel  Manager  spot open in a west coast market city. The company was based on the east coast. He was progressing nicely through the various steps until one interview question in particular  stopped him in his tracks.

He  met with a corporate recruiter who did the customary screening interview. They talked resume, city, ballpark salary, and deduced  from all of that there was mutual interest.  They agreed to get together and do another interview, this time face to face.  So far so good.

The candidate progressed through the various meetings and  interviews and next up was  a chance to meet some of the staff managers. It was not spelled out by the corporate recruiter that this was a panel interview. The candidate goes to the interview.  The panel was made up of four  middle management  staffers, accounting manager, operations manager, etc.

The Human Resources Manager was also in the conference room but not part of the interview panel.  One of the staff managers asked the candidate about salary.  The question was…  ” Please discuss your salary history and  your salary expectations for this position.”  The candidate replied, “I am leaving my last position at 77k and would be looking for a similar base in order to make a move.” It seemed to me that asking this question was not well placed or timed.

Key point. The staffers probably should not have asked such a question. Salary was discussed in the prelims and there was no objection raised by the corporate recruiter that the candidate was making more than the new position of Channel Manager offered. In answering the question to the staff manager, the candidate thinks now that they were all making 10k-20k less than he was.  He was troubled that  by answering the question, he  may have put himself out of the running for a job he was qualified for and wanted.

Shouldn’t the HR Manager have  stepped in and redirected the question since it had already been covered? In a fit interview with a panel of future “peers”, who cares what they guy makes or wants. Everybody has a salary package. Why allow it to come up in a fit interview where the objective should be more of a  “get to know you” type of meeting. Re-asking qualifying questions feels too aggressive to me and smacks of envy.

My suggestion to the candidate is to answer the question by not answering it.  Something like… “I believe  I was paid fairly in my previous position, and like everyone excited about a new job,  I am looking forward to salary growth…  however my first priority is in securing this position and making an impact in my new role. I would prefer to discuss salary details at the time an offer is made.” Then listen carefully for the next question.

This way you, the candidate,  are not playing your cards before you have to and  keep professional  jealousy in the form of salary envy in its place. This answer allows the discussion to continue without  a lead balloon being dropped  on the proceedings.  Of course, there is the old school take that you could go through the entire process and never mention your salary.  What do you think? I would be happy to hear from  you if have a different take or even agree with the question. Also, if you have had a similar experience, my readers would love to hear more.

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Never give your Facebook password to a prospective employer

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Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

Image via CrunchBase

Years ago, recruiters in Silicon Valley became legends for holding pub crawls where the objective was to collect as many IT professionals as they could and at the end of the evening invite them all to interviews. Back then, people were so thirsty for experience that feeling the need to change jobs every 4-6 months was the only way to get more cowbell.

Sister to this bad recruiting idea was the practice of asking all sorts of questions that had nothing to do with the actual job. Questions like,  “how would you move Mt. Fuji?” or “How many gas stations are there in Chicago?” or the all time classic, “If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?” Sadly, I do know a manager that asks the latter and WILL NOT HIRE YOU if your answer is anything less than “a lion!” Get serious, what does being a lion have to do with performing the duties of an accounts payable supervisor?

Ten years later, with the social media boom, we know find ourselves with recruiters who think it is a great idea to ask for a candidate’s Facebook password so they can poke around the person’s profile before making a job offer. Once again, what does this have to do with the job? Recruiters justify it by saying they want to make sure the applicant doesn’t keep company with people who are underage or participate in illegal activity. Really? Who publishes a summary of their illegal activity on Facebook?

There are also objections to asking for a Facebook password where the applicant is a member of a protected class. All sorts of problems can arise when recruiters single out applicants and possible don’t ask questions in a structured, consistent way. For example, after getting an applicant’s Facebook password, the recruiter could then learn about political affiliations, marital status, religion or a person’s age or other personal interests and activities not relevant to the ability to perform the job the person is interviewing for.

To sum this up, no matter how bad you want to work for a particular company, no matter how badly you need to work, being asked to hand over your Facebook password is a serious red flag for the job seeker about an employer. Employers say, “Well, if you don’t have anything to hide, then what is the problem?” You can slice it and dice a hundred ways… the answer is still NO!

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The “B Side” of Talent Management

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People moving from job to job after being fired.

You are running the business. You are managing, setting strategy, dealing with vendors, moving merchandise. Cashing the checks. People are your most valuable asset. The sky is the limit! Eye of the Tiger! Rock n’ Roll! Wanna screw it up big time? Try some of one through nine on for size. Oops, if you recognize that some of these are already happening. Your baby is ugly! Get help!

Hire Wildly! — Hire the next body through the door. Don’t bother with details like what the job duties are, work hours, previous experience. And of course, don’t even bother with a job description or interview. Just get the guy in an apron and behind the register. C’mon, times a wastin’!

Throw’em In Off the Deep End! — Now that you have your body, just plug’em into the schedule. Forget about orientation or setting expectations… that just wastes time and money!

Skip the Drug Test and Background Check — Takes time, wastes money! You need this guy right now so don’t delay! What do you care anyway what they do when they aren’t at work. Get’em out there amongst your customers. Your people are your greatest asset anyway so what are you worried about? You are in the game to make a buck!

Hire’em to Fire’em! — There are a couple of versions of this great classic. Hold a meeting, advertise it as “Shock and Awe”. Look out into the crowd and say confidently that “One of you will be fired in the next 2 weeks!” then move on. Don’t revisit your comment the rest of the meeting. Let that one stew awhile and make it back to the break room. Or, hire 2 fire 1! This works great and since the guy isn’t going to make it anyway, at least Sluggo is still here so you have a back-up plan! Low hanging fruit, y’all.

Fire Someone on the Spot — This is especially effective if you haven’t spent any time even trying to develop the person. You have never set expectations, never had a teachable moment, never shared the big picture, never recognized the person for a job well done!  If something goes wrong, just dust’em. If you really want make this one work, just show the person the door in front of everyone else, no explanations given.

Half -Heartedly Tie Performance Ratings to Termination — Let this one out quietly and never really address it, explain it, or act on it. Just give your associates the feeling that if you don’t get a “meets” on your next review you are history. When someone asks you directly if it’s true, don’t answer, just smile and give a little wink. The rest will take care of itself.

Feel Free to Express Yourself! — Go on! You’re the boss. Develop your own style and since you’re the man, no one can touch you! So go right ahead, replace your associate’s name with one of these gems, Oh, There’s that Hot Babe, Sweet Lips, Cupcake, Sister, Dude, Birdbrain, Sex Machine,  Brother, Einstein, or… Dumbass-you get the idea. But here is the piece de resistance, don’t do this with everyone, just some, the effect is greater if you single some workers out of the crowd and focus just on them. This will distract  your workforce  so much that they will have no time for the rumor mill.

Punch Someone Out! — Here is a classic. While one of your workers is hard at work taking care of your customers, punch them out of the time clock and let’em work for free. Think it is preposterous? Happened to a fast food counter person I know. The manager punched her out and saved 7 hours on his weekly budget. Only one problem, the worker kept track of her hours and reported the issue to the district office. The restaurant manager suddenly found himself with a lot more free time. They fired him and paid the worker the missing hours! Score one for “Side A!” Hey!

Cut Side Deals — No, really! When one of your associates comes to you with an issue, don’t listen to understand. Cut to the chase as soon as you can, the resolution is in offering the complaining person “whatever THEY think will make the problem go away.” This way, you don’t get your hands dirty and the person gets what they want. Do this over and over and you have a garden of associate issues. Imagine, your garden sprouting with entitlement! Wow! You are gonna hear this one a lot!  “I’m allowed because the manager told me I could!”

I think I am going to stop there. 9 nightmares in one reading is enough! You know, most of what I mentioned  is a version of the truth. These are crazy times and when managers don’t pay attention to what they are doing, things can go hay wire. When it does, hang on tho your hat and get ready for the real work to begin.

Share your thoughts and war stories in the comments section below.

Enjoy!

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